Tokyo Metro Observations

There was this American guy and Korean woman in front of me on the train talking about how she some Italian guys had asked her out when she was studying in the language. And for some reason (cough:blindingjealousy:cough), he couldn't understand that she had said no and therefore didn't go out with them. I wanted to spell it out for the moron. ::roll eyes::

I didn't like the way he talked to her. He seemed aggressive and accusatory in his tone. I hope that was just the wrong impression I got, and that he's really a lot nicer to her.

Ahh! Massage!

I wrote this two days ago, on Thursday, but didn't finish it until now.

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Got a 30-min massage during my lunch break and so had no time for lunch. :T I munched on snacks to keep my stomach from growling. Next time, I'm making an appt or going after work, since they're open until 11 pm.

I didn't have an appt, so I had to wait. But I'm definitely going to be a regular here...expert hands at ¥2,500 for 30 mins?! Definitely won't find prices like these in Tokyo. The only thing I don't like was that it was just a big room with curtains separating the massage beds. I don't like those places because you can hear everyone, and it's hard to relax.

And the other (strange yet interesting) thing that I noticed was that when the husband spoke to me in Chinese, he spoke very loudly, like how most (many?) Chinese people speak in restaurants, with their families and friends--and I say this as a Chinese/Taiwanese person. But when he spoke in Japanese to his customer, whom he was treating when I walked in to the establishment, he spoke much more quietly and soothingly. I'd much prefer the latter for relaxation.

The owners were a Chinese couple who have been in Japan for 10 years. I talked a bit with the wife, who treated me, during the massage about why I was in Japan, how long I've been here, where I'm from, etc.

It's so sad, but now I can write my name in katakana, but no longer in Chinese. The husband said, "We'll teach you!" The wife wrote down a character and asked if that was the right "Pei" (in "Pei-chee"), and I said "Yes! That's it." The husband thought it was funny that I could only recognize the characters in my name, but not write it.

In the end, the wife gave me a coupon for ¥1,000 off the next massage. That was pretty amazing, since i only spent ¥2,500, and will already be able to get a big discount. most places in Tokyo don't offer any discounts for repeat customers, maybe only 10% off or ¥1,000 off a ¥6,000+ massage if you're a first-time customer. (I guess those places care more about getting customers, but not keeping them.)

She also wrote her cell number on a business card and said I could call any time to make an appt or if I had problems with Chinese or Japanese. I think she was offering to translate if I ran into any problems, but I'm not sure, because she spoke in Chinese, and I only sort of understood what she said. Sigh. I really gotta beef up my language skills.

Happy

I'd been struggling for several weeks with some classes that I teach, especially one of four 4-year-old boys. They were so loud and out of control; I felt really helpless and at a loss. It was terrible because the kids' moms were all watching me fail to control and teach their kids.

I'd been wanting to observe a colleague--any colleague's--classes to see how they handle such difficult situations, but when I'm in school, I'm always teaching when they are.

I'd started chanting to become a better teacher, for he happiness of my students, especially the ones I'd been having a hard time with (and no, it's not easy to chant for people you can't stand).

On Thursday, I went to an SGI meeting that I was fortunate enough to attend because it happened to be a national holiday, which meant I had the day off instead of working 2-10 pm like usual.

At the meeting, I expressed how much difficulty I'd been having with some of my students, and how I couldn't stand them. One senior member said, "The key that you keep saying is 'I can't stand them.' That means it's not them; it's you. You're allowing them to get to you. You should chant to raise your life-condition so that they can't get to you no matter what they do."

My initial reaction, though I didn't show it, was self-defensiveness and denial. How could these brats' behaviors be my fault? But I knew that the member was right--my environment is a reflection of my life-condition, and I *should* chant to be able to--as I've heard somewhere--to be calm even in such a situation as carrying a bale of burning hay on my back or sitting on a block of ice.

Another member, Pochak, gestured to two other members, Camilo and Oliver, as people who have also struggled with having difficult people in their environment.

Camilo--whose eye I kept catching at the study course a few weekends ago for some reason but whom I didn't talk to while there--came up to me after the meeting and invited me to observe his class at the pre-school where he teaches. Just what I was looking for! (But he also mentioned having coffee, which unnerved me a little because I just mentioned my bf at that meeting).

Anyway, we met up today to talk about my classes. What I learned from him was like the bridge between the highly idealistic theories I'd been thinking and reading about in President Ikeda's book, "Soka Education," and my reality.

Even though my school has a policy of not touching the students (thanks to fears--real and imagined--of inappropriate conduct) and I am personally not comfortable about hugging kids who are not my relatives or not crying, for example, Camilo said that hugs are very important. It shrinks the distance between teacher and student. I wanted to try this today, but didn't get to it.

He also said that his role as a teacher isn't just to transmit knowledge or to give information. Students can get that from books on their own.

His role is to teach values like compassion, respect, and consideration, to have the ability to say "I'm sorry" when they do something hurtful and to understand why they're saying it.

Basically, the subject you teach is not the goal, but a means to teaching these values.

He said his students write letters (as much as they can, anyway, since they're only four), saying, "I love Teacher Cam." I'm envious, but more than that, I want to be that kind of teacher--whom kids love and respect, because I also love, respect and trust them.

My "infant" class today (the school calls them "infant classes," even though the students are actually toddlers and young children), which I'd been dreading right until I walked into the classroom, actually turned out much better than usual. It was almost eerie how well-behaved they were, how responsive, and much more quiet (there are two who love shouting their answers), than I'd ever seen them.

And, I had a chance to teach compassion: When Yusuke took all the letters of the alphabet foam board and left he other two scrambling to wrest some from his grip, I said, "Yusuke, stop (and he actually stopped!). Look. How many do you have? (and I counted 1-2-3-4-5-6). You have six. How many does Aoi have? (and I showed Aoi's hands). Zero. How many does Ryunosuke have? (and I showed Ryunosuke's hands). Zero. Ok, give two and two." And be actually did it!

Normally, he would just do whatever he wanted and I wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise. It was always physically and mentally exhausting to try to capture their attention, make them stop fighting, make them share, etc. But I didn't have any of those problems today. It was amazing.

I want to chant more and get more results like this.

I'm surprised that I'm able to see results this soon after chanting. That must mean I'm doing my human revolution, which means I'm changing my karma, which means I'll be able to move on and get a better job sooner rather than later. Yippee!

Relief

I've been worried about my parents' financial situation recently, because have recently closed one of their two offices, and will soon be closing the other one. That meant they would both be out of a job and without a source of income, I thought.

So I worried about whether or not my brother and I would need to give them money, and if so, how much they would need, and if we could actually be able to help them.

Toward the Buddhist study course this past weekend, I read some things from President Ikeda and while at the course, also received guidance from a senior in faith, that encouraged me and gave me more confidence about the situation.

Taking the senior leader's words to heart, I emailed my dad with some of President Ikeda's guidance. The email, along with my dad's response, follows below.

From: Peggy
To: Patrick
Cc: Ray [my brother]
Sent: Sunday, October 23, 2011 10:50 PM
Subject: Guidance

Hi Dad,

How are you? I just got back last night from a study conference in Ito, on the Izu Peninsula (where Nichiren Daishonin had been exiled). It's kind of like FNCC, but only two days instead of four. I learned a lot and made new friends. I have a renewed determination to chant more and do my human revolution.

Before the course, I'd been asking myself why you and Mom have to face this difficult financial situation you are now in, especially after so many years of sincere practice.

But the following guidance from President Ikeda explained it very well for me:

"We all have our own karma or destiny. But when we look it square in the face and grasp its true significance, then any hardship can serve to help us lead more rich and profound lives. And our actions in battling our destiny become an example and inspiration for countless others. In other words, when we change our karma to mission, we transform our destiny from playing a negative role to a positive one. Anyone who changes their karma into their mission is a person who has 'voluntarily assumed the appropriate karma.' Therefore, those who keep advancing, while regarding everything as part of their mission, proceed toward the goal of transforming their destiny."

Also, President Ikeda said:

"Life is full of unexpected suffering. Even so, Eleanor Roosevelt said, 'If you can live through that [a difficult situation], you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I've lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'' That's exactly right. Struggling against great difficulty enables us to develop ourselves tremendously. We then call forth and manifest those abilities dormant within us. Difficulty can then be a source of dynamic new growth and positive progress" (Faith into Action, p.107).

This guidance reminded of the period when you and mom had a million dollars of debt, and you were able to overcome that situation. Because of that experience, I know you can change poison into medicine in your current situation as well.

At the course this past weekend, I had a chance to ask my about our family's financial situation at a Q&A session with WD leader Mrs. Yokota.

She said*: "The economy is depressed globally, but we must never lose confidence that we can change poison into medicine. President Ikeda said that it is during challenging times that we can move the universe to manifest as shoten zenjin [protective forces]. We must continue to chant until the poison has changed to medicine. But we can't make this happen with a weak, wobbly attitude or with a strong determination that lasts only a short while. This will be a time of perseverance and patience. Be confident that you will win in the end."

Please share this with Mom. I am chanting for you both.

Love,
Peggy

* [She also said, "It is during times of struggle when we can develop close family ties," which is something I've been trying to figure out how to do for awhile now. But I didn't share this part with my dad because it's a weird self-conscious thing to do.]

On Oct 24, 2011, at 10:43 PM, Patrick Chen wrote:

Hi,

Peggy,

Thanks for sharing the guidance you received with us. True, we both have had financial karma. We have overcome it and changed into today's situation. Right now, we are okay without owing [money] to anyone. Instead, we have invested in the net-leased property [and will be receiving enough income to live on]. On top of all these I am continuing to do the real estate and import business....I believe we will be okay. We will have more time to do Kosen Rufu [participate in Buddhist activites] for sure.

We both determin to [c]hant lot more, especially after returning form FNCC we have learned so many people overcame obstacles one after another by chanting millions of Daimoku. To tell the truth I have never made determination to chant 1 million in three months (3 hours a day) yet.

Thanks for your concern about us. We are okay. Nothing to worry. Actually, you should worry about yourself: when you are gonna getting married. You are approaching 32 soon.

Regards,

Dad

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I am so relieved my getting married is my parents' biggest concern. I was really worried that they wouldn't be able to survive without some serious financial support from my brother and/or me.

The marriage question is something I've been thinking about for awhile. What I learned this past weekend was that you have to decide that you want to get married, that is, you have to make a determination that you want to marry a particular person, at or by a particular time.

Otherwise, like with anything else in life, if you just have a vague sense that you want to do something, you'll be waiting a long time for something that may or may not happen. "Be determined! Chant and take action!" That's the take-away message I got from this past weekend.

I want to get married and have kids, but one of the reasons this hasn't happened yet is that I feel like I haven't even established a career yet. I'm thinking of getting a Masters in Education so I can teach English literature. I don't want to go from job to random job, then enter parenthood, at which time I'd have to put on hold any progress or pursuit of a career for many years.

I got to talk to a few Women's Division members about this, and I'm glad I did. One of them encouraged me to pursue my education first, because it's a lot harder with kids--which means, if I want to have kids before I get too old, I need to take action NOW.

Many members have mentioned the education program at Soka University in Japan. I never knew that they had so many different programs, and many in English, too. Since I started working at this "assembly-line" teaching job, I've become more interested in Soka Education.

Soka education is humanistic and treats students as individuals with great potential, who should be inspired to be creative and to think creatively--basically, the antithesis of a traditional Japanese education.

Growing up as an SGI member, I'd always known that it's first president, Makiguchi, was an educator who first applied the Buddhist principles to his classrooms in response to the factory-like approach to education in place at the time, in the 1920s.

But it has been by teaching Japanese students and experiencing the sadness that is the Japanese education system that I have really begun to understand and appreciate Makiguchi's situation and efforts.

Some of my students don't have an opinion whatsoever on whether or not they like something. For example, for a question like "Do you like camping?", some don't know whether to answer "yes" or "no," and even among those who can say that much, most can't explain why they do or don't like it, and it's not always for a lack of language ability. It's just sad.

I think there's a better approach to education, and Soka education is definitely a better one.

The Pursuit of Happyness

The other day, I went to an SGI meeting at a member's home. It was in a luxury building in Akasaka, Tokyo. The first 15 floors are offices, I think, because to get to the apartment, I had to take an elevator to the lobby on the 16th floor, then take another elevator from there to the 24th floor.

Eeven though I saw only the living room, I know the apartment was really nice. I went home and looked up he rent for an apartment in this building. The rent for a 3-bedroom for one month was my salary for a full year.

I wanted to be like Will Smith's character in "The Pursuit of Happyness," where he asks the guy in the luxury car what he did for a living to get that.

Left Behind

Just realized today that among my close group of college friends, I'm the only one left who has been in a long-term relationship AND isn't either engaged or married, minus the one friend who doesn't want to get married.

I should be happy for them, and I am. But I'm also a little depressed. :T

London

I wrote the following when I was London this past week (Wed 9/6 - Tues 9/13).
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During my brief layover at Paris De Gaulle airport, I realized that French men are very tall and some are quite good-looking. Or maybe it was their accent that made them seem better-looking than they really were. :p A lot of dorks probably get women that way.

I want to visit Paris properly one day, with Vence. I think it'll be very romantic, even of it is cliche.

London has many more immigrants than I had pictured. All those Hollywood movies led me to believe that it was populated with Caucasians, but the ridiculously long line at immigration upon arrival at Heathrow was my first hint that this wasn't the case.

Then the trains between North London and Southwest London were also full of people speaking Arabic, Hindi and other Southeast Asian languages. There are also many tourists (and residents too, probably) from China and Hong Kong.

London has many annoying sounds -- the annoying and insistent beeps of airport-staff driven carts at Heathrow airport; the equally annoying and high-pitched beeps of the subway (The Tube) as the doors close. Why couldn't they play cheerful melodies like Japanese trains do?

London has many beautiful sounds--the British accent, especially from those who are dark-skinned, whom I least expect to have British accents.

London has many beautiful sights, including the posh and well-dressed men and women.

London also has many ugly sights, including strange fashions on the (generally) less-beautiful men and women. I know this probably sounds terrible, but some Brits are really not good-looking by any stretch of the imagination--maybe my expectations were too high.

I didn't expect to see garbage in the subways (I think I have been spoiled by the ultra-clean Japanese environment), the prevalence of newspapers and/or magazines on the train seats, which might have been for the better since there's no free wi-fi on the trains like in Japan. Oh, I can already see that I'm gonna have a hard time living anywhere else after Tokyo.

Some interesting observations: British men are very tall, but the ceilings in The Tube trains are not. The ceilings only reach full height at the middle; the sides (along the length of train) are slanted, like in some top-floor/attic apartments, probably because the tunnels were built so narrowly a hundred years ago.

There's a lot of advertising in the subway: framed posters and prints dot the hallways, staircase and escalator shafts, and portions of tunnels in front of the platforms. Interestingly, there are many more ads for movies, plays, and musicals than in Tokyo. The latter has more advertising from small, local businesses.

Apparently, there's a musical version now of "Ghost," the famous movie that starred Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in the late '80s. I'm kind of curious.

It's already autumn in London, so everyone is wearing coats and jackets, but sometimes just t-shirts and shorts (on women, with or without tights). A lot fewer women wear heels, especially very high heels, as compared to Tokyo. it's amazing that Tokyo women can still walk by the end of the day, especially given that they have so much more to walk to and at train stations. They even shop in those things. Me, I can barely handle a two-hour party in medium-high heels and 10 minutes in the kind of shoes that I've seen them wear.

In NYC, we have the "If you see something, say something" campaign in the subways and buses. In London, they ask commuters to report anything suspicious to a "member of staff." (I think it's funny that the Brits drop off articles like "the" in cases like this, or treat some words as singular when Americans view them as plural, and vice versa. It's English, but it still sounds funny to me.)

Speaking of suspicious-looking bags, when Wanjin, Chun-Hao and I were at Waterloo Station, there was an unclaimed bookbag on the bench we were sitting on. When a woman asked if the bag belonged to us and we said no, she actually reported it. One of the Tube employees came, unzipped it to peek inside, and removed it.

I was surprised the woman actually reported it, but maybe the bombings had shaken up the people more than New Yorkers were by 9/11. But I guess the difference is that the London bombing was in the subway while 9/11 was in skyscrapers. I know someone who was a journalism intern in NY at the time, and she had to interview people in the aftermath. She has since developed a phobia of flying.

// Now at Carlton Mitre Hotel- I'm a little frightened by the security at this hotel. They gave my room key to my relatives when they checked in. That means anyone claiming to be my relatives could just get my room key and go in my room. There's a reason why most hotels ask to see the credit you used to book the room with, as a means of ID and security. It's a little creepy.

On the upside, the hotel itself is really nice, with plush pillows, thick fluffy towels and slippers, wood furniture, and free minibar! Too bad I don't drink anymore. And the hallway carpet could seriously use updating--it looks black in the center, where guests have walked on for probably the past decade.

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All in all, a good trip. I wish I could have seen more, but I thought it would be enough to tag along with whatever itinerary my cousins had planned for their parents. It didn't really pan out that way, so I only saw Big Ben and Westminster Abbey from the outside, and took a trip on the London Eye. The latter was about half an hour long, and a cool experience, but a little boring after about 15 minutes. I mean, how long can you marvel at the same sights, even if they are from different angles and heights? It was £15 or so, so I'm not sure I'd do it again.

There was a group of Irish (I think, or maybe some other part of England) women in the same "pod" of the Eye as me, and I know they were speaking English, but I couldn't understand a freaking thing. Accents are so interesting.

I want to go back to London for a visit. What little I've had of British cuisine was generally unimpressive (the fish of "fish and chips" was great, but the chips were just thick-cut french fries, not particularly well seasoned, nor was it at all crispy.

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Have I mentioned how much I hate Resona Bank? Long rant but god dammit, I fucking hate Japanese bureaucracy. It doesn't make any freaking sense.