I'd been wanting to observe a colleague--any colleague's--classes to see how they handle such difficult situations, but when I'm in school, I'm always teaching when they are.
I'd started chanting to become a better teacher, for he happiness of my students, especially the ones I'd been having a hard time with (and no, it's not easy to chant for people you can't stand).
On Thursday, I went to an SGI meeting that I was fortunate enough to attend because it happened to be a national holiday, which meant I had the day off instead of working 2-10 pm like usual.
At the meeting, I expressed how much difficulty I'd been having with some of my students, and how I couldn't stand them. One senior member said, "The key that you keep saying is 'I can't stand them.' That means it's not them; it's you. You're allowing them to get to you. You should chant to raise your life-condition so that they can't get to you no matter what they do."
My initial reaction, though I didn't show it, was self-defensiveness and denial. How could these brats' behaviors be my fault? But I knew that the member was right--my environment is a reflection of my life-condition, and I *should* chant to be able to--as I've heard somewhere--to be calm even in such a situation as carrying a bale of burning hay on my back or sitting on a block of ice.
Another member, Pochak, gestured to two other members, Camilo and Oliver, as people who have also struggled with having difficult people in their environment.
Camilo--whose eye I kept catching at the study course a few weekends ago for some reason but whom I didn't talk to while there--came up to me after the meeting and invited me to observe his class at the pre-school where he teaches. Just what I was looking for! (But he also mentioned having coffee, which unnerved me a little because I just mentioned my bf at that meeting).
Anyway, we met up today to talk about my classes. What I learned from him was like the bridge between the highly idealistic theories I'd been thinking and reading about in President Ikeda's book, "Soka Education," and my reality.
Even though my school has a policy of not touching the students (thanks to fears--real and imagined--of inappropriate conduct) and I am personally not comfortable about hugging kids who are not my relatives or not crying, for example, Camilo said that hugs are very important. It shrinks the distance between teacher and student. I wanted to try this today, but didn't get to it.
He also said that his role as a teacher isn't just to transmit knowledge or to give information. Students can get that from books on their own.
His role is to teach values like compassion, respect, and consideration, to have the ability to say "I'm sorry" when they do something hurtful and to understand why they're saying it.
Basically, the subject you teach is not the goal, but a means to teaching these values.
He said his students write letters (as much as they can, anyway, since they're only four), saying, "I love Teacher Cam." I'm envious, but more than that, I want to be that kind of teacher--whom kids love and respect, because I also love, respect and trust them.
My "infant" class today (the school calls them "infant classes," even though the students are actually toddlers and young children), which I'd been dreading right until I walked into the classroom, actually turned out much better than usual. It was almost eerie how well-behaved they were, how responsive, and much more quiet (there are two who love shouting their answers), than I'd ever seen them.
And, I had a chance to teach compassion: When Yusuke took all the letters of the alphabet foam board and left he other two scrambling to wrest some from his grip, I said, "Yusuke, stop (and he actually stopped!). Look. How many do you have? (and I counted 1-2-3-4-5-6). You have six. How many does Aoi have? (and I showed Aoi's hands). Zero. How many does Ryunosuke have? (and I showed Ryunosuke's hands). Zero. Ok, give two and two." And be actually did it!
Normally, he would just do whatever he wanted and I wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise. It was always physically and mentally exhausting to try to capture their attention, make them stop fighting, make them share, etc. But I didn't have any of those problems today. It was amazing.
I want to chant more and get more results like this.
I'm surprised that I'm able to see results this soon after chanting. That must mean I'm doing my human revolution, which means I'm changing my karma, which means I'll be able to move on and get a better job sooner rather than later. Yippee!
